NyQuil Induced Rambles

I have been writing this in my mind for a while now. And when I say awhile we're probably talking about a month at least. I am, sadly, a perfectionist of the sort where if I can't do it right, I tend not to do it at all.

Healthy, right?

So, instead of trying to go with the topic I really want to, I think I'll just let myself ramble. I was wrong earlier, the NyQuil hasn't fully taken away my coherency...although maybe it has and I'm just too out of it to realize that.

Hey, either way, I can promise one hell of a trippy experience.

I have noted time and time again that Life/the Universe/Deity of your Choice has a far better sense of irony than any one of us has individually or, indeed, as a collective group, and that we'd do well to remember that. Just when you think you've got a handle on something, whoops there it goes!

I recently re-connected with an old friend, which was has been a little weird. Good, and a wonderful thing, but weird. I make it a practice to avoid using or even thinking the phrase never in conjunction with an action, cause I find saying it is pretty much a guarantee that you'll end up doing it. That's one lesson I've learned but good. And, in my defense, I didn't ever say "I'm never gonna talk to him again," but it still isn't making this any less strange.

It's still nice to have old friends back in my life. It's even nice to be able to trust them again. Slowly, cause once (oh no, I'm sorry, twice) burned; now shy, but trust none the less. It's kinda cool. Of course this is all in the midst of my doing something I swore up down and sideways that I'd never do. Yet, here I am. I love you Peanut.

In a very odd sense, I feel like I've come full circle…in terms of my expectations and who I am and who I'm around. It's been almost 4 years... 4 years since what I really believe was a seminal turning point in my life. A crossroads, if you will.

How many people can pinpoint their life course based on one seemingly insignificant decision? "Yeah, sure why not, I'll come to the concert and have dinner with you and your friends" Those simple words radically altered the course my life would take over the next years ... throughout the rest of my undergraduate and my graduate careers.

I guess right now I'm reflecting on the road not taken. It's a rare indulgence for me, I'm generally too practical to waste time on might-have-been's" outside of literature (points to anyone who catches the literary reference there). But I wonder...what if I hadn't gone? Would I be wehre I am today? Would I be the person that I am today?

How frightening is it? Who we are can be determined by something so trivial as everyday decisions? You decide to pick up the phone and call your best friend, as a result you end up winning the Nobel Prize a decade later. You decision on what to make for dinner ends up resulting in the difference between a successful career or a miserable one.

This is getting a little too Butterfly Effect...it MUST be the NyQuil. And hello writer's block...I totally had a point with all of this, and I've pretty much lost it. That means it's bedtime for this sick kid. Stay tuned for another ramble or piece of fiction...Sleep Tight.