Trying to figure stuff out. It's not going well.
George makes fun of me because I put up a bunch of pictures in my room. Of them, 3 are solely of me, and one is me and a friend. He seems to think this is somehow narcissistic. And truly it might be but not for the reasons he believes. Each of those 3 pictures was taken AFTER I graduated college, May 2002. Each represents something about me...a small pictoral image of a journey of growing up.
It's funny, because some of this I'm just realizing now, and because it's like there is a key to all of this that no one else can see. Each image I'm smiling, each image most people can't see beneath the surface. But they represent such varied things.
July 2002 -A picture where I am alone...and felt alone...but I wasn't. Not really.
Spring 2003 - A picture where I am alone, and felt alone but felt that I wasn't. But I was. So desperately.
August 2004 - Not feeling quite so alone but grappling with thoughts and fears that I can barely even begin to describe to myself let alone put into words. Alone in a crowd.
I'm too in my head. I'm going to clean or play or do something. Maybe that will take the edge off.
No comments:
Post a Comment